Imperfect Life

hang out with mae mae this evening talking about my new toy boy, Mr.Sean~
hahaha....
P.S: i have to say that he is a guy...not a girl...(JC's gf called Sean too:P)
i told mae 50%-60% about Sean...
but then the problem now is
1. Am I ready to be heartbroken?
2. My family can accept him?
3. His family can accept me?
4. Is he my Mr.Right?

The way he treated me is really good...
and he is local! (this is the best =) )
Although his past and family background is quite complicated (erm, like soup drama), but then he willing to change la (still in process)

I don't know la...
I just want to get the right person to get myself a stable life....
I need a guy who can give me a secure life....
and my family must able to accept him
of cos...
THE BEST thing is his family can accept me~
For sure, girl always want Mr.right as their potential husband lo...

So the only thing i can do is..
wait lo...
see lo...
hahaha....

kinda weird but i miss him
miss the way he called me
miss the way he treats me
miss the way he pampers me
miss the way he curses others
hahaha...
tot i didn't really know him well
but i like him
I Miss him!

To you know who,
I'm sorry but i like to do something like:
I just like to laugh when i want to
i just like to dance in the car when i have the feeling
i just wanna accept your call when i miss you
I will tell you whatever i dun like without think of your feeling
I will reply you when i feel like to do it~
I wanna hug you when i like it~
but the truth is...
i'm gonna to listen your advise before i do things
i think about you before i do any risky
I'm gonna miss your voice when the song plays ~

I'm a girl love freedom yet love to trapped by you~


From
bear~

hahaha..finally i sent my first apology letter to request forgiveness from my classmate
actually others might think its not my fault.
but still...
think nicely, I'm the one who make the wrong step from the beginning.
I'm so sorry for pulling alice into the conflict and make her feel so stressful to attend the class.
Although he really has some issues, but still its my fault and i should bear with the consequences
if he wants take any revenge on me, i'm fine with it...
but he dare to touch alice even one hair, I swear i gonna finish him as i used to..
that's all for today...
i'm pretty tired to prepare myself for these....
thanks for father to supporting me...
love you daddy...i will take care myself~

its a day which i supposed to be excited like last year
i remember
when i mop the floor while the person just starring.
i like to see him smiling
the way he smile make he so sunshine
make me feel like to be good to him
if i out of his sight now,
i guess i will be on the phone,
hear his breath
lying on the sofa
he never be with me since the day he's gone
i cried few night in the silence alone at the balcony
remember everything of him
scold me when i do something bad
pamper me when i not feeling well
i just miss him so much
but i could not tell anyone the emptiness in my heart
before he's gone, i promised him i will be good
i will take care of everything
i will not crying like in the past
he knows i only get so easy to make the tear rolling on my face when i talk to him and mum
i dun know why
it just happen
the night he's gone, everyone just lost control
some just yelling, some just nagging to bring him back
i wish i not being rational that time.
i'm so rude to everyone for not being acting appropriate
it's a first father's day without my father,
and i miss him alot
i wish he could make it every year
so i can pamper him with nice meal
we go window shopping in klcc
seeing the car on the road
serve him as a master while i'm the driver

there's no more chance i can do it anymore.
what i can promised are
treating his lover well
serve the elders as he does
respect to the elders as he wants us

sorry, daddy
for treating you well when you're still with me
i'm so sorry for being a rude and trouble daughter
so sorry to break your heart by doing something you dislike
forgive me, father
and i miss you

Didn't they always say we were best friend?
I guess that we were once
i glad that we were once

But what make you leave me?
It is a faithless friend
And in the end when life has got you down
you just throw me aside

let we talk for last time
talk to me for last memory
We are happier here together
than we could ever be crying
so talk to me
and never throw me aside


There might a thousand reason for friend to be apaer
but it's no one's fault
and it's not my fault

Maybe things we made would no work out
but i have no doubt even though it's hard to achieve

i have the faith in us and i believe it soon happen on you and me

so talk to me
tell me, and i promise it will never changed.
because it's you and me togehter
and we got time
so talk to me, talk to me today
So hold on to me tight
Hold on, I promise it'll be alright

There's so many dreams that we have given up
just recall all the memory we had together
and with this kind of friendship
what we've got is enough for the rest of the life

After saying goodbye to my dearest friend,
suddenly i feel the need of changing my lifestyle...
YEAP! changing my life while i still rushing for my academic stuff
I'm very worry the negative emotion back to me like it used to be
From tuesday, i started go swimming, and eat broccoli in the morning,
then afternoon drink chocolate milkshake, sometimes have an apple too,
then dinner, i drink soup, eat fish and an apple again...
After that, i do some holla hoop for an hour while watching tv...
this is a life that i never been through...
i have to wake up at 7 plus to go swimming as my first program of my day....
sometimes go for boxing also...
then listen to music....
Thursday night, i will have jamming session!
hahaha..YEaP!
my friend asking me to replace the pianist for few weeks..
and i learn to play guitar and drum too..
hahaa..
although my assignments is crushing and still feel the time is just enough to do everything..
negative emotion still nearby me, but song will temporarily chase them away...
i know its sounds like i'm on diet..
actually i having some detox program as they said it will help to balance your positive and negative emotion.
oh ya, i learn dancing too...
no those formal teacher la... just learn from my friend..
hahaha...
how to move your hip...
thanks to her also....
ok la..going to sleep d..
tomorrow need to wake up early!
chaoz!